Some experiences divide life into before and after: a bereavement, losing a job or a business, serious illness, a relationship ending. They can shake beliefs we rely on without noticing, about how predictable the world is, how much we can control and who we are.
Alongside the pain, many people later notice changes they value. The psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun called this post-traumatic growth. It is not the same as bouncing back. It describes coming through a struggle with something new: a different perspective, closer relationships, a clearer sense of what matters.
Growth does not make the experience good, and it is not an obligation. This worksheet is for reflecting once some time has passed. If the experience is recent, or still feels overwhelming, focus on getting support first.
01
What did the experience shake?
Which of these were shaken for you?
- How fair, safe or predictable the world is.
- How much control I have over what happens.
- How much I can rely on other people.
- How capable or strong I am.
- Who I am, and what kind of person I want to be.
Exercise
Before and after
Something I believed before that I see differently now:
How I make sense of what happened, now that some time has passed:
02
Five areas of growth
Exercise
Taking it forward
Which strengths did I draw on to get through, and where else could I use them?
What do I want to do differently because of what I have learned?