How we understand our problems has a direct effect on how we cope. In order to understand your problems you need to ask yourself some questions about these five aspects of your life - Thoughts (beliefs, images, memories), moods, behaviours, physical reactions, and environment (past & present). It is important to also understand that all five areas are interconnected, with each different aspect influencing all the others. For example, changes in our behaviour influence how we think and also how we feel (both physical and emotionally). Likewise, changes in our thinking affect our behaviour, mood, physical reactions, and can lead to changes in our social environment.
Understanding how these five parts of our lives interact can help us understand our problems.
Environmental changes/life situations - ask yourself the following....have I experienced any recent changes? What have been the most stressful events for me in the last year? 3 years? 5 years? In childhood? Do I experience any long term difficulties (including discrimination or harassment from others)?
Physical reactions - Do you experience any physical symptoms that trouble you? Such as changes in energy level, appetite, and sleep, or any specific symptoms, such as heart rate fluctuations, stomach aches, sweating, dizziness, breathing difficulties? Identifying the five components of your own distress can help target areas of change.
Behaviours - What things do you do that you would like to change or improve? At work? At home? With friends? By yourself? Do you avoid situations or people when it might be to your advantage to be involved?
Mood - What single words describe your mood (sad, nervous, angry, guilty, ashamed etc)?
Thoughts/Beliefs - When you have strong moods, what thoughts do you have about yourself? Other people? Your future? What thoughts interfere with doing the things you would like to do or think you should do? What images or memories come to mind?
We've looked at the five components to any problem: environment, physical, moods, behaviour, and thoughts. Each of the five components affects and interacts with the others. Small changes in one can lead to changes in the other areas. Identifying the five components of your distress can help target areas for change.
If you want to make a greater impact on your life your thoughts are often the place to start.
The thought/mood connection
Whenever we experience a 'mood' there is a thought connected to it which helps us define the mood. For example, suppose you have arrange a meeting and you are talking to one of the attendees. During your conversation, the other person never looks at you, in fact, throughout your conversation he appears distracted and looks over your shoulder across the room. The following are three different thoughts you may have about this situation. Four moods are listed below each thought. Which one mood do you believe would follow each of these interpretations if this colleague was not looking at you:
Thought: he is rude, he is insulting me by ignoring me.
Possible mood: Irritated Sad Nervous Caring
Thought: he doesn't find me interesting. I bore everyone.
Possible mood: Irritated Sad Nervous Caring
Thought: He seems shy. He's probably too uncomfortable to look at me.
Possible mood: Irritated Sad Nervous Caring
The example above illustrates that different thoughts or interpretations of an event can lead to different moods in the same situation. Since moods are often distressing or may lead to behaviour with consequences (such as telling your colleague he is rude), it is important to identify what you are thinking and to check out the accuracy of your thoughts before acting. For example, if your colleague was shy then it would be inaccurate to think of him as rude and inappropriate to respond with anger and irritation.
Even situations you might think would create the same mood for everyone - such as losing a job - may in fact lead to different moods because of different personal beliefs and meanings.
Thoughts therefore help us to define which mood we experience in a given situation. One a mood is present, it is accompanied by additional thoughts that support and strengthen the mood. For example, angry people think about about ways in which they have been hurt, depressed people think about how unfortunate their life has become, and anxious people see danger everywhere. In fact, the stronger our mood, the more extreme our thinking is likely to be.
Of course, this does not mean that our thinking is wrong when we experience an intense mood. But when we do feel intense moods, we are more likely to distort, discount, or disregard information that contradicts our moods and beliefs.
Everyone thinks in these ways at times, but it important to recognise when you are thinking in distorted ways because this understanding provides a first step towards more balanced thinking and mood states.
What is the thought/behaviour connection?
Sometimes our thoughts and behaviour seem quite disconnected - such as making a cup of tea, pouring the milk into the cup, putting the milk back in the fridge etc (bad example but you get my drift). Despite these occasional lapses in our concentration, our thoughts and behaviours are usually closely connected. This is why it is difficult to do more than one or two things at once - we overload the system.
Throughout the day we repeat well-rehearsed behaviours over and over. We are not always aware of our thoughts guiding our behaviour because our actions have become routine. However, when we decide to change or learn a new behaviour, thoughts can determine whether the change occurs.
For example, our expectations affect our behaviour.
We are more likely to try to do something and succeed if we believe it is possible. I'm not saying everything is possible, but the more we believe something the more likely it is we are to attempt it and maybe succeed.
'Automatic thoughts' are another type of thought that influences our behaviour. These are the words and images that pop into our head throughout the day as we are doing things. In addition, we have core beliefs that influence both our automatic thoughts and behavioural patterns. These underlying beliefs are about ourselves ('I'm smart', 'I'm weak'), about other people ('people cannot be trusted'), and about life in general ('life is overwhelming').
The thought/physical reactions connection?
Thoughts also affect our physical reactions. Recall the last time you read an engaging book - imagine the scene described, your body reacted as well. Imagining a frightening scene can lead to a more rapid heart rate. Imaging a romantic scene can lead to sexual arousal.
For those of you that have a fear of flying or giving presentations - can you recall the physical reactions you experienced.? When a person experiences thoughts of anxiety or nervousness, we may experience a rapid heart rate, sweaty palms, breathing changes and dizziness.
Not everyone experiences the same reactions to particular thoughts. However, it is important to recognise that thoughts have mood, behavioural, and physical consequences.
Is positive thinking the solution?
Although our thoughts influence mood, behaviour and physical reactions, positive thinking is not the solution to life's problems. Most people who are anxious, depressed or angry can tell you 'just thinking positive thoughts' is simple not enough.
Cognitive therapy suggests that people consider many different angles on a problem as possible. Looking at a problem from many different sides - positive and negative and neutral - can lead to new conclusions and solutions.
Is changing the way you thinking the only way to feel better?
Even though identifying and changing thoughts is a central part of cognitive therapy, it is often equally important to make physical, behavioural, or environmental changes. For example, if you have been anxious for a long time, you probably avoid things that make you anxious. Part of dealing with it is learning to relax (physical change) and cope with perceived dangers so that you stop avoiding (behavioural change). People do not usually overcome anxiety until changes in thoughts are accompanied by changing in avoidance behaviour.
To help you feel better, you can also make changes to your environment. Reducing stress, learning to say no to unreasonable demands made by other people, spending more time with supportive people, using employee well-being initiatives are all environment changes that can help you feel better.