Setting a Boundary: free worksheet

Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves: on our time, our energy and our emotional availability. They are not walls, and they are not a punishment. They are what let you keep caring about people and your work without being worn out by it.

Emotional boundaries matter as much as practical ones. You can understand and care about how someone feels without taking responsibility for fixing it. Their feelings remain theirs.

Where are your boundaries weak?

How often does this happen?

0 = never, 1 = sometimes, 2 = often, 3 = most of the time

Statement	0	1	2	3
I say yes, then resent it
I answer messages when I am meant to be off
I drop what I am doing for someone else’s urgent request
Other people’s moods affect mine for the rest of the day
I feel responsible for calming someone down or cheering them up
I take on things that are not mine to do
I feel guilty when I put my own needs first

Healthy boundaries are flexible. They let you get involved when it is right to, and step back when the other person needs to take responsibility for their own situation.

Decide your limit, and plan what to say

Exercise

One boundary

The situation where I most need a boundary:
What I am willing to do:
What I am no longer willing to do:

Acknowledge“I can see this matters to you.”
State the limit“I can’t take this on this week.”
Offer what you can“I could help next Thursday, or point you to someone sooner.”
Hold itSay it calmly, once. You do not need to justify it at length.

Remember

When someone is disappointed by a boundary, that is not proof the boundary was wrong. You can be kind about their disappointment and still hold the line.

Where are your boundaries weak?

Decide your limit, and plan what to say

One boundary

If you would rather not do it alone.